I don’t even recognize you anymore. I see something you’ve been tagged in, and have to search through your face to catch a glimpse of the person I once knew.
Where did you go?
When did I move on?
Oh well. I suppose we all change. I just wish with all my heart it was at the same pace. Because I miss you. More than I let myself believe.
Two years tomorrow.
Or would have been two years tomorrow. And as much as I tell myself (and finally believe it now) that I’m done, done wasting time, and energy and being strung along like I was the past 9 months, my heart still aches a little.
And I hate that.
There should be a magic button to ignore those painful memories. But I guess then I’d miss all the good ones too.
So here’s to two years in that parallel world where we worked. To the you and me that is stronger for it. But here, in this world, I’ll role out of bed, smile at the sun and remember that I’m fine.
Here’s to that.
“Friends, lovers, or nothing”
This is how I’m feeling more and more.
“There can only be one”
But you, you sir are making it impossible. You. With your mixed signals.
With your “It would kill me”.
With your “But I still love you and want this more than I wish I did.”
What is a girl to do with that? Maybe I want to move on. Maybe I already have started to. But I remember you. And how I feel with you and don’t want to lose that. And even the slim chance of you coming back keeps me holding on. But what for?
“Friends, lovers, or nothing
We’ll never be the in between”
So walked into the bathroom today to wash my hand and on the front of one of the stall doors I found this. It was too beautiful not to share.
“For all the bullshit that I fell for, you the one I will always come back to. The lovely words you spelled wrong, nights of pure bliss wash over me. I carved out my lips to match yours. Now where are you? Gone, and at peace with the fact I till think about you before I sleep.
This isn’t what I had in mind.”
To whoever wrote this…I hope it works out for you in the end.
When you were born, you didn’t come with an owner’s manual; these guidelines make life work better.
1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it’s the only thing you are sure to keep for the rest of your life.
2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called “Life on Planet Earth”. Every person or incident is the Universal Teacher.
3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of experimentation. “Failures” are as much a part of the process as “success.”
4. A lesson is repeated until learned. It is presented to you in various forms until you learn it — then you can go on to the next lesson.
5. If you don’t learn easy lessons, they get harder. External problems are a precise reflection of your internal state. When you clear inner obstructions, your outside world changes. Pain is how the universe gets your attention.
6. You will know you’ve learned a lesson when your actions change. Wisdom is practice. A little of something is better than a lot of nothing.
7. “There” is no better than “here”. When your “there” becomes a “here” you will simply obtain another “there” that again looks better than “here.”
8. Others are only mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another unless it reflects something you love or hate in yourself.
9. Your life is up to you. Life provides the canvas; you do the painting. Take charge of your life — or someone else will.
10. You always get what you want. Your subconscious rightfully determines what energies, experiences, and people you attract — therefore, the only foolproof way to know what you want is to see what you have. There are no victims, only students.
11. There is no right or wrong, but there are consequences. Moralizing doesn’t help. Judgments only hold the patterns in place. Just do your best.
12. Your answers lie inside you. Children need guidance from others; as we mature, we trust our hearts, where the Laws of Spirit are written. You know more than you have heard or read or been told. All you need to do is to look, listen, and trust.
13. You will forget all this.
14. You can remember any time you wish.
(From the book “If Life is a Game, These are the Rules” by Cherie Carter-Scott)
Journey’s End. My god. WHY DAVIES!! WHY? But it was brilliantly written so I guess I’ll forgive you for ripping my heart out again. And again. And again.
But really…I think we all need someone like the Doctor to believe in us. Remind us that we are capable of so much more. Tell us we’re brilliant (really just cause I think it’s awesome when people say that) and not let us give up on ourselves.
I guess sometimes all you need is a man with two hearts, the world in his hands and the biggest family on Earth to make you believe in you.